So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize
