Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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