soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
