are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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