pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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