can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
