They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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