Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
