ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
