She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
