i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
