that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
