too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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