Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you guys were way drunker than both of me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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