I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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