i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
