i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
