I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
