I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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