It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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