Joe is yelling at the trees again.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
