Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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