we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We are all done wearing pants today
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
