like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
