My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
