those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
