I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
