I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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