He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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