Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
