Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
