...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
