The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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