Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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