it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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