Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
