Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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