sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
there is puke in my bra ... again
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