what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
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