Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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