I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
accomplished twins. life is a go
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
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