so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
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