There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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