He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
