What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
