Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I know her cup size but not her name....
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