Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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