Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
No subtext here. People are naked.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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