why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
is it fun? or sober?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
