Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Ketchup is God's man juice
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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