I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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